Sunday, June 11, 2006


I need to learn to play golf. Or rather, I need to learn to hit a golf ball without totally embarrassing myself. And I should probably learn the rules too.

First of all, I don't play games with sticks and balls so well. Hitting a little tiny ball with a long stick just doesn't sound like a great idea to me. I hammer like lightning strikes: never in the same place twice.

Then there's the whole golfing culture. Do people actually golf because they like it? Or because it means you get to do business while being outside? This whole schmoozing thing is why I have to learn to play the silly game. I thought only lawyers and business people played, but I've learned that architects are all about some golf.

Golf requires special equipment. And apparently you can't just use a man's clubs. It's like using his toothbrush. So then how are you supposed to learn if you don't have clubs? There are so many sticks to pick from. Why are there so many? Why can't you just have one? And then there are those special shoes which I don't get at all. The only cool part would be getting to wear crazy plaid pants. I actually have a picture of my grandfather and his buddies in gosh-awful plaid golf gear. It could be a greeting card, really.

So, if anyone is brave enough to spend a few hours with me waving a stick at a tiny ball...