Monday, August 22, 2005

Bring on the Holy Spirit!

Those of you who know me well know that I don't often get emotional. I think that I had cried myself out several years ago. Even spiritual things rarely move me to tears. But lately, that's been different.

It all started with this: I've been stuggling lately with whether or not I played it too safe by staying in Raleigh. This is where I grew up and where my parents live again. I really feel like I'm here still for a reason and that God is up to something really huge. But it's not so much doubt that I'm doing the right thing. Perhaps by staying, I'm really giving something up? I had wanted to move to Boston and that won't be happening anytime soon, if at all. So by staying am I doing God's will and helping to advance his kingdom right where I am?

And this was somewhat brought on by the start of school and anticipating the stress that comes with architecture school. I've been in school for 20 years. This is my seventh year of higher education. I've had quite enough. Every semester I wonder "what was I thinking?"

So... Today at church we started a new series. And guess what it's on? The fruit of the Spirit! Yay! Those two short verses in Galatians are some of my absolute favorite! And possibly one of my biggest challenges. I desparately want to walk by the Spirit. I'd much rather the Holy Spirit be in charge of my life than my flesh. Today we started with love. One point that Pastor Mike made was the love registers profoundly in people's lives. This is when it all started to get me. That is so much what I want to do: show people God's love for them. I so often want to love people but I don't always feel like I'm so succesful at it. I get selfish and tired and just plain icky. But I really, really want to put others before me. I want the Spirit to show me how to do this and God to give me the energy to do this because I really don't do so well at it on my own.

To add to this, tonight we talked about treasures in heaven. Luke 12:34 says "for where your treasure is, there will be your heart also." Well, I want my treasure to be in heaven. I want everything I do to be making God smile. This doesn't always have to be as drastic as making a career of doing this, but in my case, that's exactly what it is. I want to give people hope. Hope that God loves them and that He's got awesome things in store for them. I want to touch lives and I want to do it through love.

Right.... so all of this makes me want to shout for joy and fall on my knees before the Lord. Kind of a switch in emotions, huh? So did I make the right choice by staying and working like crazy to do architecture? I think so. I'm really excited to see what God is up to. Overwhelmed at times, but excited.

Thanks for reading all the way through this. =) Have a good week!

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

an off day

so you know it's going to be an interesting day when you realize that you've brushed your teeth at least twice, can't remember if you fed the dog or not, and leave the house with your coffee in a regular mug and not a travel one...

It didn't turn out to be a bad day by any means. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, but I just had an icky day. I only worked a half day since school starts tomorrow and then I went to the mall. I just came home feeling really blah. Kathryn made shrimp and grits (yummy!) for dinner tonight and that vastly improved my day. Then we Goodwilled and Targeted. But you know, I'm still dragging. Maybe it's just the dreading of school? I dunno... Because I haven't had an icky day in quite some time. I usually have really good days. Blah.

Anywho, I hope that you're having a great day!

Monday, August 15, 2005

once again, joining the trend...

I've spent the last little bit playing on Facebook. You have to find me under NC State though because some people are confused and think that I actually go to school there. LOL (Ok, so maybe I do... but I'm really a Carolina girl.)

School starts on Wednesday and I am NOT excited about it one single bit. I really just don't want to go. I don't like the stress and competition that exists there. Working all summer has been way, way better than school. I just want to graduate with my piece of paper.

Things I am excited about: talking about life with friends, playing with my dog, knowing that I'm being who God wants me to be, smiling alot, Jesus vidoes on, figuring out iTunes, buying 6 pounds of coffee on sale, yup, still smiling, swings at the park, having a going away party (even though I'm staying), sleeping in, taking naps, seeing friends that haven't been seen in a while, phone calls, dancing in the grocery store (or anywhere else for that matter).

An interesting challenge: Ask God what His will is. And then ask how you can help fulfill that here on Earth.

Comments are welcome. Otherwise, I might not bother to blog.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

I'm back!

So Emily reminded me that I do, in fact, have a blog... so here I am. I've never been much of a journaler, so this is a bit of a challenge for me.

To catch you up, I've been interning at an architecture firm. It's been awesome! School and work are SO much different. This is my last week of full-time and I'm really sad. The good news is that I get to stay! Yay! It'll be great to have real architects to encourage me when school gets crazy.

Other than that, I've been going to weddings, etc. and hanging out with the people from Hope. God has really put me in an awesome place! I have met so many people over the past year. Sometimes we'll be hanging out and I stop and thank God for bringing me this group of people my age to have fun with and grow with.

The really awesome thing that's happened was a few weeks ago at Chavis Park. If I knew how to put pictures up here, then I would, but I can't, so I'll just have to tell you about it. We hung out all afternoon, playing, eating, and talking with some residents of Southeast Raleigh. It was a blast! I knew that it was going to be okay, but God exceeded my expectations of the turnout. I've been praying for a long time about what could be done in that area of town. There's so much need there. While I still don't have the solution, I think that God is well on HIs way of showing me how we from Hope can get involved and make a difference. I think that we made a good start at making connections there. I'm still having a hard time putting all of it in words, but I'd love to talk to you more about it. We'll be going back and hanging out soon! Ideas on what to do? Please share!

So what else? Really just loving life and where I'm at now and looking forward to where I'm going. Seriously! I know it sounds cheesy.

Think. Believe. Dream. DARE. ~ Walt Disney