Bring on the Holy Spirit!

Those of you who know me well know that I don't often get emotional. I think that I had cried myself out several years ago. Even spiritual things rarely move me to tears. But lately, that's been different.

It all started with this: I've been stuggling lately with whether or not I played it too safe by staying in Raleigh. This is where I grew up and where my parents live again. I really feel like I'm here still for a reason and that God is up to something really huge. But it's not so much doubt that I'm doing the right thing. Perhaps by staying, I'm really giving something up? I had wanted to move to Boston and that won't be happening anytime soon, if at all. So by staying am I doing God's will and helping to advance his kingdom right where I am?

And this was somewhat brought on by the start of school and anticipating the stress that comes with architecture school. I've been in school for 20 years. This is my seventh year of higher education. I've had quite enough. Every semester I wonder "what was I thinking?"

So... Today at church we started a new series. And guess what it's on? The fruit of the Spirit! Yay! Those two short verses in Galatians are some of my absolute favorite! And possibly one of my biggest challenges. I desparately want to walk by the Spirit. I'd much rather the Holy Spirit be in charge of my life than my flesh. Today we started with love. One point that Pastor Mike made was the love registers profoundly in people's lives. This is when it all started to get me. That is so much what I want to do: show people God's love for them. I so often want to love people but I don't always feel like I'm so succesful at it. I get selfish and tired and just plain icky. But I really, really want to put others before me. I want the Spirit to show me how to do this and God to give me the energy to do this because I really don't do so well at it on my own.

To add to this, tonight we talked about treasures in heaven. Luke 12:34 says "for where your treasure is, there will be your heart also." Well, I want my treasure to be in heaven. I want everything I do to be making God smile. This doesn't always have to be as drastic as making a career of doing this, but in my case, that's exactly what it is. I want to give people hope. Hope that God loves them and that He's got awesome things in store for them. I want to touch lives and I want to do it through love.

Right.... so all of this makes me want to shout for joy and fall on my knees before the Lord. Kind of a switch in emotions, huh? So did I make the right choice by staying and working like crazy to do architecture? I think so. I'm really excited to see what God is up to. Overwhelmed at times, but excited.

Thanks for reading all the way through this. =) Have a good week!