Tuesday, April 07, 2009

living single

I should start with this: I've started this post a few times but never posted for fear of offending people. So I apologize in advance if anyone is offended.

I love my life as a single woman: I have really amazing friends. I own an adorable little house. Riley and Linus are really good roommates.

Yes, it's hard sometimes to be single. But I'm hopeful that will change one day.

What's bothered me lately is this: Married women often make me feel like I don't matter.** (Yikes! There, I said it out loud.)

They talk down to me. I feel like some stupid college kid even though I'm about the same age.

They prattle on about their lives but rarely appear interested in mine. I guess since I don't have a husband, nothing in my life is worth mentioning.

Perhaps this seems ridiculous.

But I'd really like to get to know some of the married women around me. I realize that I can't be best friends with them but I would like to be better acquainted. Besides, diversity is what makes life interesting. If we put the obvious married/single difference aside, I'm sure we'd find that we had several things in common.

I could make a better effort to get to know some of these women. But it's hard after you get shut down so many times.

So I find myself drifting further and further into the single's club. ***

** There are married women who I love dearly and don't know what I'd do without them.
*** Y'all are awesome!


traci said...

Thanks for being honest Jenny. I know its hard (the honesty part). You have a ton of life and insights to offer, regardless of relational status.

I can kinda connect with you when talking with my friends who have kids. It is hard when we are different life stages than people to always have things to talk about because the default seems to be what is around us all the time (our husbands, our kids, even our pets or houses)

This post challenges me to find points of connection with people in new ways, maybe simply by asking things about them... less consumed with myself? ya know?

**I do think I am one of your amazing married friends who values you, please correct me if I am wrong :)

Kim Smith said...

Thanks for your honesty, Jenny! Of course since I am married, I can't help but wonder if I have been one of those women in your life. If so, I sincerely apologize. You make me think about how I treat others who are in a different stage of life and, for that, I thank you! I appreciate you sharing your thoughts with us!

Elizabeth said...

I agree, but I wonder how much of it is a natural part of life. When your friends get married and you don't, they tend to drop you and the same thing happens when kids show up and they drop their married friends without kids. I don't think it's malicious, it's just that they don't have as much in common with singles or couples without kids. It does hurt though and when you get to be our age, it leaves you lonely or hanging out with 22 year olds haha.