you won't believe what my mom suggested

speed dating.

yes, really.

What do I want to be when I grow up?

I thought I knew. But the more I do it, the more I'm not so sure.

It's not that I don't like being an architect. I really do.

Ok, let's back up a bit. I'm not actually an architect. Yet. I do almost everything a "real" architect does. But legally, I'm not actually one. And I won't be for at least two more years. I still have some internship requirements to meet and a bunch of exams to take.

I've been thinking about this for a while now. And on Monday, Ryan was joking with me and said "But you need to make a decision for when you're a real architect." I said "I don't want to be an architect when I grow up."

Which of course made him ask why.

It's that I don't see the point. I thought there was a point to being a licensed architect. But I've lost what that is right now.

I guess you can work for yourself or maybe get paid more. But those things don't particularly motivate me right now. There's also the fact that my 3 1/2 years of grad school will be pretty much pointless if I don't get licensed.

Architecture is a profession. Something that you practice, not just an ordinary job. Being licensed means getting the respect that comes with being a professional.

Not being a real architect means way less stress, responsibility and thinking. I could pretty much keep doing what I'm doing with less stress for several more years before anyone would take issue with my not being licensed. So why keep doing it? It's better than retail.

I'm just so stressed out. I go to work and I'm just stressed. I don't know why but I am.

I keep thinking that maybe I'll just show up at work, do what needs doing, and not care beyond that.

But can I be okay with that? With merely just punching a clock?

I was told today that I was better than just being a draftsman my whole life.

Maybe I am. But what's the point?

At this point, I have to make a choice. Either continue to be a glorified CAD monkey or take the initiative to become more than that.

I just wish I knew what being a real architect really got me.

Links

I need some more blogging help:
How do I put links in? I think I tried one time a while ago and they never showed up.

why?

I'm a big fan of this question. I don't often come up with many answers though.

This week I've been wondering "Why?" alot.

Why work hard when just getting by is acceptable?

Why do I care?

Why do I have to go to work all day long?

Why do bad things happen and why don't people want to talk about it?

Why don't I let myself be exactly who God wants me to be?

Why is Satan such a jerk?

Why can't I block him out?

Why do I let myself get stressed out?

Why can't I just see what's in front of me?

Why does Riley think he's walking me?

Why can't I make a decsion?

Wii

If you have not Wii-ed, then you must find someone who has one and beg them to let you play. Not only do my arms still hurt from boxing, running, swimming, and hammer throwing, but my abs are in pain from laughing.

If you find my Facebook page and watch the videos Carly posted, then you'll see what I mean.